


The gall to say I never do anything nice for you

by whimsicalSwindler (Spammy_Wits)



Series: Low effort ficlets [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: POV Second Person, Rose stealing Karkats books as a plot device
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23877523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spammy_Wits/pseuds/whimsicalSwindler
Summary: In which Rose spends most of the word count trying to find subtext
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde & Karkat Vantas
Series: Low effort ficlets [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689382
Kudos: 19





	The gall to say I never do anything nice for you

You are now Rose Lalonde and you are in some sort of cowboy showdown with one nubby horned troll, why you ask? That's something you'd like to know as well

Rose: As much as your dramatics are always a welcome entertainment can I know what this is about?

Karkat: My books, Lalonde. I want them back. All 28 of them.

Rose: Is that so? I'm afraid that you missing them is not exactly compelling me to abide by that request.

Karkat: We're doing this the hard way, then? Color me unsurprised but don't complain later that I didn't grant you a peaceful option. Even if that was a massive waste of time comparative to fondling my globes with a tuber.

Rose: Wouldn't dream of it.

Karkat.: Well, how about this, you sticky frond nubbed broad. Either you return every book you have stolen from me *today* or you say good fucking bye to your Friday's with Dave

You take a second to assess the situation. He obviously brought Dave along to make a point about the veracity of the threat and the fact that Dave is not arguing makes it clear that he's been bribed or otherwise convinced that he'd get something worthwhile from this particular interaction. It's also an effective approach considering that a negative answer be it sincere or a sarcastic quip would most certainly hurt Dave’s feelings, coming across as you having better things to do than spend time with him which is clear by his eager stance despite his neutral face. But you're also aware that Karkat wouldn't just risk truly hurting Dave’s feelings like that and even less for a bunch of old hardcovers he's read enough times to make them have the texture of a grandmother's private collection which is why you conclude that this was never about the books.

Rose: Well, far be it from me to risk being deprived from the weekly company of my favorite brother. That would be a total bummer .

Karkat: Fucking finally, at least one of you stupid humans can be maturely reasoned with!

As you see the glint in his eyes and Dave’s barely present smile you confirm your suspicion, he just engineered a situation where you could express how much you value Dave without making either of your emotionally constipated asses uncomfortable. You're kind of impressed, actually. You go look for the books, you have absolutely no idea where they are.

**Author's Note:**

> Dave knows how easily Rose loses shit in her disaster zone of a living space so the effort she'll have to make to find the books adds to how appreciated he's feeling right now. He was probably feeling a bit under the weather and Karkat did this to cheer him up


End file.
